There’s a strong case to be made that 2020 is either a simulation, where every possible variable has been cranked up to an 11; or the final season of a once-beloved HBO series where the writers decide to haphazardly finish up early so they could start earning bigger paychecks with Disney. Whatever the case, I think it’s safe to say neither situation will have accounted for Vin Diesel trying to become a pop star with the philosophical question mark that is his debut single – ‘Feel Like I Do’. Which somehow makes it exceedingly appropriate for the year.
Chances are, many of you will have endured the track by now; initially thought to be produced by Kygo, later clarified to only having been released by Kygo’s label Palm Tree Records. Chances are, the way you discovered the track was comparable to when you found out some kids in high school made the scripture teacher cry during second period: a mate giving you a sharp nudge during recess (“Did ya hear?”), suppressed smirks, the slightest hint of pity, and of course, morbid fascination surrounding why a taxpaying adult would ever put themselves in that position, so open and vulnerable to cruelty.
Don’t get me wrong, Vin Diesel’s ‘Feel Like I Do’ isn’t bad. In the same way that expired mayonnaise and hotdog spaghetti is still technically food. Sure, it meets the minimum criteria from a taxonomic standpoint, it might even retain some nutritional value. But like, come on now – who the fuck wants to eat expired mayonnaise and hotdog spaghetti?
Maybe that last example was overly gross for the sake of being gross too abstract. OK, let me simplify it. On paper, ‘Feel Like I Do’ is perfectly fine – Petey Martin produced it as he saw fit, Vin himself doesn’t have a terrible voice, there’s nothing terribly wrong with the lyrics either (although it does bland you into submission). In practice, however, when all the elements come together… it’s an unsettling assault on the senses (beyond the basic five).
Hyperbolic as it may sound, at times, the very sonics of this tropical EDM creation layered with the bass of Vin Diesel’s unmistakable croak, not to mention the vivid mental image of Vin Diesel sliding behind you at a club, trying to seductively whisper game into your ear about how he wants you to help him build his familia in the sheets – I’ll tell you what it ‘feel like’. It ‘feel like’ an existential threat of the highest order. On the wrong day, I’d go so far as to say his promo on The Kelly Clarkson Show ‘feel like’ domestic terrorism (linked below for reference, complete with an awkward virtual audience reaction).
To his credit, he certainly wears his heart on his bare arms/tank top shoulder straps, living day to day armoured by an unshakeable confidence (maybe it has something to do with being the face of a billion-dollar franchise, but who’s to say?). With a well-documented love for singing, Vin Diesel has famously given Rihanna’s ‘Stay’ during Valentine’s day of 2013, ‘See You Again’ as a tribute to his late Fast & Furious co-star Paul Walker during the 2015 MTV Movie Awards, as well as Tove Lo’s ‘Habits’ in the same year. And judging by the current trajectory mapped in plain sight, I have no doubt there will be more coming our way.
Check out Vin Diesel – ‘Feel Like I Do’ above (lyrics included below for the lols).
Vin Diesel – “Feel Like I Do” Lyrics
[You feel like I do]
Who goes out on a
Tuesday night in this town
Bar’s too quiet and the
Cover band is too loud
Step outside, I’m a-
-bout to leave when you walk
Right on by and I’ll just
Freeze
All of the times you tried to find
Someone that hit me like you
And I’m not the type who likes to rush in
But I want to
I don’t know you
But it feels like I do
And I was frozen
When you walked in the room
‘Cause every single word
It just makes my stomach turn
‘Cause I don’t know you
But it feels like I do (Feels like I do)
Close and tight and we
Spent all night talkin’
You and I, just
One more thing I want to
Be that guy, tell you
How I feel it every
Single time and just
Freeze
All of the times you tried to find
Someone that hit me like you
And I’m not the type who likes to rush in
But I want to
I don’t know you
But it feels like I do
And I was frozen
When you walked in the room
‘Cause every single word
It just makes my stomach turn
‘Cause I don’t know you
But it feels like I do (feels like I do)
I don’t know you
But it feels like I do
And I was frozen
When you walked in the room
‘Cause every single word
It just makes my stomach turn
‘Cause I don’t know you
But it feels like I do (feels like I do)
