After four years as the resident content gremlin here at Boss Hunting – eight if you count my stint as an unpaid stooge > freelance writer > contract writer before I mustered up the self-respect to leave, only to come crawling back 18 months later – we’ve officially crossed a milestone.
If you’re reading this, that means you’ve likely consumed at least one of many articles penned by yours truly: 4,000 published under my own name, a couple hundred more published anonymously due to either embarrassment or some sponsored commitment.
So what’ve I learned while polluting the cyberspace with more nonsense? Well… not a whole lot of useful information, if I’m being entirely honest.
I couldn’t tell you who’s our current attorney general (even if I wanted to).
My knowledge of the Israeli-Palestine conflict is embarrassingly surface-level (good thing nobody really wants to talk about it).
But I will admit that I’m an absolute weapon at the other parts of pub trivia (and I have the wine vouchers to prove it).
I also have the ability to recite an ungodly amount about film and television productions currently in development, imminent release dates, as well as what’s streaming on which platform. Although my friends and loved ones will be the first to tell you that second thing was fostered long before my time at BH and reeks of undiagnosed autism.
Anyway, here are a few vague lessons to ensure the time spent on this write-up isn’t a complete waste of time. Even then, no guarantees.
You’ll never be able to keep everyone happy
Anyone who’s spent less than five minutes in an online comment section can attest to this.
And as something of an authority when it comes to being flamed by randoms – be it in the public realm of said comment section or in the privacy of a sternly-worded DM/email for some arbitrary reason – I can tell you that certain people in this world live to be reactionary.
Just make sure the people you truly care about (and the people who cut your paycheque) are still wearing a smile. Anything else is gravy.
On the flip side, somewhere out there gives a shit about what you have to say, and those folks alone make it worth continuing on this long journey to the middle.
You’re not going to always get it right
Given a vast majority of my content involves pop culture and sports, I’ve eaten buffet trays of my own words thanks to overzealous predictions.
As it turns out…
- Widows wasn’t the next classic heist film
- The Many Saints of Newark didn’t live up to The Sopranos
- UFC 278 was anything but “another lock” for Kamaru Usman
- and most recently, the Los Angeles Lakers vs Boston Celtics isn’t the face off we’ll encounter at this year’s NBA Championships
To quote my second favourite Aussie PSA: you win some, you lose more.
Failure is your greatest teacher
Dipshit predictions aside, I’ve turned in my fair share of stumbles. In terms of both article content and article composition.
In fact, I’d sooner carry ten kilos of Afghan kush via bodyboard bag into Denpasar airport than revisit my earliest works.
Over time, however, every typo, every clunky sentence, and every lukewarm reaction towards a Facebook post taught me how it wasn’t done. All I had to do was keep showing up and promise to try a little harder the next day.
And as you can now see, the content is slightly more bearable. Only slightly.
The small victories are still victories (appreciate them)
Life has this nasty habit of kicking you in the nuggets, and then once you’re curled up on the ground, putting the boots to you a little more for good measure.
Whether it’s making punters chuckle at a compilation of demeaning nicknames to put their mates back in their place or providing a counterfeit Rolling Stones profile on Sticky Fingers for a scroll session on the dunny, a win is a win is a win.
Take it and run.
Keep a bottle of something at least 40% ABV in your desk drawer
For those lengthy droughts between the aforementioned small victories. Or to simply spice up the knock-off hour. Note: experiences at your own place of employment may vary.
Waking up early the next day trumps slaving away all night
I’ll also add that deadlines don’t just ambush you out of nowhere. Write shit down and stay on top of the priorities before they even get a chance to dogpile on you.
And always check your spam folder
Gmail isn’t perfect.
Under the mountains of unsolicited blasts about dick pills and fictitious relatives who want you to inherit their equally fictitious wealth, occasionally, there’s something high-priority. Something you’ll miss.
Like an invitation to interview Margot fuckin’ Robbie at the red carpet premiere of Babylon.
When I first started writing for Boss Hunting, I had zero intention of sticking around.
The entire relationship consisted of a wildly underqualified uni kid spewing self-indulgent prose for free concert tickets, free booze, and yes, the opportunity to speak with people they had no business being in the same room with, much less exchanging ideas.
4,000 articles later, BH has gifted me with a life I never even imagined possible. And for better or for worse, these days, it’s very much a part of who I am.
Here’s to the next 4,000.
