It’s hard to believe, but millennials spend an outrageous 10 hours a week on dating apps, with blokes racking up a total of 85 minutes a day, while women swiping for an average 79 minutes.
All it takes is 1/10th of a second for you to form an assessment of someone’s face. So, it’s fair to say you need to put in some wrench time to make your profile stand out. If you aren’t getting as many matches as you’ve been hoping, listen up, here are 7 things you’re doing wrong on dating apps, and more importantly how to fix them.
Gym Selfies
I get it. You’re probably trying to show people that you live a healthy lifestyle and are dedicated to leg day – but there are other ways to get this across. How much you lift or what protein shake you drink is not the panty dropper you might think it is.
You can still show off everything you’ve worked for but not in an obvious way. Tie it in with a hobby. Whether it’s surfing, running, rugby… you can still be shirtless, but show us that your hobby is not simply about vanity.
The Ex
We’ve all got that one photo with an ex when you know you’re looking like a straight 10 and you hope you can get away with it on Tinder. Is she your sister? Maybe a friend? Just play it safe and leave it out, it’s not a good look.
Crop them out of the photo and also out of your life.
Dogs
Just because you attract the ladies when you’re out walking your puppy doesn’t mean you need to try the same thing digitally. You might think it’s a selling point, but don’t waste one of your limited photos on a portrait of your dog, especially if you think a dog is an extension of your personality.
Something’s missing?
What are you trying to hide? Smiling with your mouth closed screams dodgy teeth, sunglasses suggest a perpetual hangover. Never standing up = 6ft 8” or 4 ft 11” in the mind of a prospective match.
Whatever your height or body type, give them all the information so you don’t dangle the carrot and disappoint them later. No matter your insecurities, there is someone out there who thinks you’re the full package.
Only one friend?
From the looks of things, it seems like you’ve only got one mate who features in every single photo. Firstly, it’s hard for me to tell who is who…and secondly, if there going to be room for me in your bromance!
Switch it up and show off that you actually have a couple of close friends.
Mirror selfies
Flat out no. Especially bathroom selfies. Unless you are David Beckham or Kim Kardashian, it’s not a strong look.
Whip out portrait mode on your phone and set a self-timer if you must.
Group photos
Don’t make us work to find you in that group photo, then to only find out you aren’t the prime specimen at the front. Yes, we want to see that you have friends but keep your photos to a max of 5 people.
If you must, arrange this shot at the end once you’ve already got us over the line.
So you’re probably asking, then, what does the ideal profile consist of? Let me break it down for you (in the preferred order): a full-body pic, a solo shot, a sunglasses-free portrait, a group mix (max 5 people), and a hobby and/or interest instead of a gym photo. Bonus points go for those who link up their Instagram. It gives us more material to work with.
DM etiquette
So now that your profile is looking solid, it’s time to brush up on your DM etiquette. Of course, you know that dick pics are a hard no, but we are equally as turned off by sleazy pickup lines; “Hey gorgeous, you’ve got a lovely smile”. This couldn’t be more of a no…at least you won’t be getting a response from me.
We all love compliments, but leave the flattery until later when it’s a bit more genuine.
Start the conversation by referencing something from their profile. It shows that you’ve looked at more than just one photo and haven’t copied and pasted your opening line.
Chances are you’re probably guilty of the double message. For those who aren’t aware, it’s when you message, don’t get a response, then message again.
Drop it, you look desperate.
If a girl really wants to talk to you, they will respond. Don’t waste your time on someone who isn’t interested, there are plenty more fish in the sea.
The big date
When it comes to asking someone out on a date, there’s a fine line. Too fast and you look desperate; too slow and you’ll both lose interest. I’m not saying you have to chat for three months before you pop the question, but give it a day or two of messaging to see if the banter is flowing.
Yes, the standard is dinner and drinks but I recommend you get a little more creative and suggest something alternative. Use their profile as a guide. If they are outdoorsy, take a walk along the coast; if they are into culture, hit up a gallery opening.
Make sure you have an exit plan. There’s nothing worse than sitting through a date waiting for your mate’s ‘I’m locked out’ phonecall. Just tell us straight up if you’re not really vibing it, honesty goes a long way. For those with a more optimistic approach, make sure you have an option to extend (wouldn’t say no to an ice-cream) or even lock in your next date.
Yes, you might think we are being fussy, but we’ve got a hundred profiles to get through a night and we have to draw a line somewhere. I can guarantee that if you stick to the above, you’ll be getting a lot more out of your matches and higher quality ones at that.
Cancel your upcoming plans and make some free time because you’ll be going on a lot more dates. You can call me Cupid later.
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