An overinflated sense of confidence when it comes to unarmed combat is by no means an unexplored phenomenon, especially when it comes to the male species. But duce to either sincerity or irony or a combination of the two, it’s recently soared to all-new heights with the recent discourse surrounding 100 men vs a single gorilla.
i think 100 niggas could beat 1 gorilla everybody just gotta be dedicated to the shit😂😂
— 🏴☠️ (@DreamChasnMike) April 25, 2025
For those of you who lead productive lives as contributing members of society, as opposed to us brainrot-afflicted bottom feeders who voluntarily dwell on Instagram and X (formerly Twitter), corners of the already polluted cyberspace have simultaneously erupted into war and doubled over in meme-rich hysterics thanks to the aforementioned scenario.
me tryna be friends with the gorilla after he killed 99 of my homies pic.twitter.com/RPZ4Dyx4Ua
— omeo 𖤐 (@ihyomeo) April 28, 2025
the gorilla after it finds me hiding in the bushes live tweeting the entire fight https://t.co/gunXx1HmLs pic.twitter.com/XIaUI3UOpN
— this place is death (@mouthfulofnails) April 27, 2025
This how the gorilla gone do the first nigga pic.twitter.com/2hcFFHoYvz
— The Hood Therapist (@OhhMar24) April 27, 2025
The comedy value has been, as you can imagine, a veritable buffet of online guffaws. And it’s reached such a fever pitch that late-stage capitalist Willy Wonka equivalent, MrBeast (real name: Jimmy Donaldson), has now set his dead, click-intuitive eyes on the concept. Side note: anyone who dies attempting a MrBeast challenge should automatically be set free from Saṃsāra and instantly achieve Nirvana.
Of course, the only people even remotely surprised about the staying power of this ludicrous ongoing conversation are the ones who haven’t been paying attention. In fact, less than four years ago, when the original iteration of this article was published, a YouGov survey conducted in America revealed that close to 10% of men believe they could beat a limb-tearingly strong gorilla, a living-breathing lion, and even more ridiculously, a goddamn elephant in a fist fight.
Here’s how blokes in the US rated their personal success against the proposed beasts:
- Rat – 72%
- House cat – 69%
- Goose – 61%
- Medium-sized dog – 49%
- Eagle – 30%
- Large dog – 23%
- Chimpanzee – 17%
- King cobra – 15%
- Kangaroo – 14%
- Wolf – 12%
- Crocodile – 9%
- Gorilla – 8%
- Elephant – 8%
- Lion – 8%
- Grizzly bear – 6%
Unsurprisingly, when the surveyed responses factored in a female perspective vis-à-vis the hypothetical rumbles in the jungle – random match-up, no holds barred, zero weapons involved – the projected success rates of animals became significantly more realistic.
Adjusted for a holistic view, elephants and rhinoceros ranked first at 74% against humans; following by grizzly bears at 73%, tigers at 70%, hippopotamus at 69%, lions at 68%, crocodiles at 67%, alligators at 65% – which is slightly amusing, given how the crocs and gators are virtually identical killers – then gorillas and polar bears rounding out the top ten with 64% each.
Still, within all those respondents, that meant 36% of these geniuses still rated their chance against a gorilla. We never learn until it’s too late, do we?
Now check out the Sydney boxing gym that calculates which mates you could beat in a fight here. And in case you’re looking for further clarity on the matter of man vs lion, take a look at this legendary Quora thread, “Can a human beat a lion with bare hands?“
