While all of you were busy being swept up by the Royal Wedding, I found myself being confronted by a longtime fear– and I feel I may not be alone. Something about seeing William and Harry rock up a bit, uh, light up top sent literal chills down my spine. That was when the entirely possible reality hit me…
“What the fuck am I going to do if I lose my hair?”
I don’t know about you fellas, but my luscious hybrid mane which stands somewhere between Fall Out Boy fan circa 2007 and current day Diplo’s do when it’s not tied back is pretty much all I’ve got going for me. Physical wise. Intellectually, I’m Cillian goddamn Murphy (clearly).
So, here it is. A bunch of ways to preserve your hair, stop that receding hairline dead in its tracks, and prevent the cursed male pattern baldness:
Enrich your diet
As with most aspects of health, a well-balanced eating habit will take you far, and may even lend a crucial hand in the pursuit of thicker, more consistent hair. Lean proteins and soy supports hair growth. Be sure to get that vitamin A + E hit from nuts and seeds. Healthy fats will provide your hair with the oil it so desperately needs to stay soft and healthy, while also proving quite beneficial to the follicles. It’s also worth chasing vitamins that aid in keratin production– keratin being the stuff your nails and hair are made of. Apparently, even spices will help eg. adding cinnamon to food provides oxygen and nutrients to your hair.
(Note: taking it easy on the drinks and smokes will also pay off.)
Get plenty of sleep
Again, taking care of your body will pay off. Healthy balance of hormones, rest and repair, etc. This also relates to the issue of stress management, as you will find that stress plays a major factor in hair loss. The whole “tearing out your hair” thing comes from a very real place, after all. So when you’re feeling the old anxiety creep up, think of your happy place, throw on a bit of Fleetwood Mac, and get yourself an Acai smoothie… or something.
Related: Best Haricuts for Men in 2023
Don’t wash your hair everyday, keep it natural
While it’s important to keep the scalp clean, it’s equally important to let your natural oils do it’s thing. Overwashing may weaken your hair, and leave it more susceptible to jumping ship. You’ll also find that overwashing may leave your hair flatter, devoid of volume, and less responsive to styling with product. Additionally, avoid excess styling products. Embrace the natural state, embrace the organic products, and let it breathe.
(Note: be sure to use a mild shampoo, or one designed to protect, repair, and restore.)
Be careful how you dry it
A few common practices are actually fairly damaging to the hair. Overuse of a hairdryer, for one, leaves the strands dry, brittle, and weak. But beyond that, and even more shockingly, that whole technique where you cover your hair in the towel and just rub it through all rough and tumble like is extremely damaging to the hair follicles. A gentle dab and press through the luscious mane with the towel should be adopted instead.
Scalp massages
Yes, really. Break out the essential oils, and dedicate a few minutes every few days to massage your scalp. It’ll promote blood circulation and keep your follicles active. Be wary of what hair styling products will supposedly promote hair growth if you so choose to go chemical with it. Never hurts to partake in some rigorous research before action. Just saying.
If all else fails, seek professional help… or shave it off, dealer’s choice
Look, I was trying to avoid mentioning a pay-to-play option, but professional help is probably the best option here depending on how bad your noggin covering has gotten, and given you have the effort, means, and proper motive. Or, you know, lean into the hand you’ve been dealt and shave that shit off. Dealer’s choice.
